It was really really difficult for me to decide if I was ready to try for baby number 3. I felt like I had so many traumatic experiences through my last IVF cycle - ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, preeclampsia - and then carrying twins and having to deliver them at 32 weeks, become a first time mom, and struggle with the Epstein Barr Virus - I honestly wasn't sure that I wanted to go through all of that again.
But after thinking on these experiences, I realized that they were just that. Experiences. It doesn't mean they will happen again this time around - they certainly could. But at least I am aware of them and can shift my perspective so that I'm not living in fear of what was, but rather embracing what will be.
Listen in this week as I share the similarities and differences between my most recent frozen embryo transfer and my twin's transfer. I'm sharing things that I do to support my body through my infertility experience, as well as things that nourish my mind when my anxiety and fears want to take over, all while finding the silver linings through each journey.
[00:00:00] Jenica Parcell: Hi friends. Welcome to Fearless Infertility, a podcast for women struggling with the mental anguish that comes with infertility. My name is Jenica and after suffering in silence for too long, I was able to pull myself out of the dark, take control over my mind and create joy during my infertility experience. I'm here to help you do the same sister. Let's dive into today's show.
[00:00:26] Jenica Parcell: Welcome back to Fearless Infertility episode 54, All About my Frozen Embryo Transfer and How I Got Through It. At the end of today's episode, you will have the tools that you will need in order to continue to move forward in your infertility experience and specific thoughts that really helped me to be able to get through when I was feeling really stuck in fear. Let's get to it.
[00:00:50] Jenica Parcell: Hello, my friends and welcome back to Fearless Infertility. I'm so excited to have you here today as always. And today is a really special podcast episode because we recently just found out that our frozen embryo transfer worked. So the one that we did on February 18th was successful. I just found out at the time of this recording, two days ago that it officially worked and we're thrilled. And the way that we do things around here in Fearless Infertility is very different. Not only in the infertility space, but in pregnancy, in general. Most people don't share about their pregnancies until at least 12 weeks, right? And everyone's different. For me personally, I, even I don't think if I experienced infertility I would still want to tell a lot of people that have that support system with me and sharing my joy and to be a part of the whole process. I find it fascinating that the societal norm is to not share about a pregnancy until at least 12 weeks, because regardless of what happens in the pregnancy, I think it's important to share it all and to be able to have that support system set up so that you can share your joy and also share your pain and everyone's different, right? Some people are more private. Some people deal with it that way better. And that is amazing.
[00:02:06] Jenica Parcell: For me, I find it beautiful to get to share in my joy and my pain with other people. So if you are following along on social media, you were the first to know. If you're not there yet, come find me @jenicaparcell on Instagram. And I'd love to get to know you better and sharing this whole experience with you. My pregnancy, the things that I am doing to help feel my best, and that's what we'll include a lot in today's episode as well.
[00:02:34] Jenica Parcell: So before we get into all of that, all the details of our first IVF transfer that worked, what we did this time as well, based on what we did the last time that it worked. I'll give you all the details from start to finish.
[00:02:46] Jenica Parcell: But first, before we do that, I love to share a podcast review with you from apple podcasts each week. And if you're wondering why this is so important to me, it's because that you can probably relate to this as well. Most of us did not expect to experience infertility. So when we find ourselves experiencing it, we typically are kind of surprised and not fully prepared, right? So in contrast, for example, we typically know as we're growing up that we'll probably go to high school. And so we have things to prepare us for that. We probably know we're going to go to college. We have things to prepare us for that. We probably know we're going to get married one day. We have this agenda in our minds, this life plan in our minds, and so we do things to surround ourself with support. Infertility for most of us typically is not like that. So when it happens, it's like a really big surprise and can leave you feeling alone and I just think it's needless to feel that way, because based on the work that I've done, there are so many women experiencing it with you, and it's the last thing that I want for you or anyone else to feel is alone in this experience. We are a family here in Fearless Infertility, and in fact, I just started a Facebook group called the Fearless Infertility Movement that I hope you'll join. And we do infertility differently around here. And the fact that we know we're not alone in the fact that we support one another and lift one another up through this process, and I also offer you tools to enable you to still love your life and really accept yourself on those really hard days, as well as accept yourself and realize it's okay to have fun too, even though you're going through something that is really difficult.
[00:04:16] Jenica Parcell: So I like to read the reviews that you guys send in apple podcasts, because I want to ask you to continue to leave those reviews if you haven't done so yet, because it makes the podcast more visible, and it allows people who are alone, who have no idea who I am or about this podcast or about the tools that I share or the Facebook group or anything like that, it helps them to be able to more easily search for it. So I really appreciate you leaving those podcast reviews, because I think that it's important for women to not feel alone in infertility.
[00:04:50] Jenica Parcell: So that being said, I wanted to read today's podcast review winner. And the username is takhathaway and the podcast review title is This Podcast is a Lifesaver. "Jenica is amazing! I feel like every week she speaks to exactly what my soul needs. Thank you for giving women with infertility, a place to not feel so alone in the struggle. Here's a story for you -my husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and a half and lately I've been more curious about hormone imbalances in my body and how toxic products can affect my hormones. I've been praying about my hormones for a while, asking God to lead me in the right direction. Well, last weekend, I made an appointment with a clinic that specializes in The Wellness Way, but was bummed about the two month wait. So of course I prayed about it. Then I get on to listen to today's podcast and it's with the founder of The Wellness Way."
[00:05:39] Jenica Parcell: Oh, I'm going to cry. She says, "I see you, God." Oh, my gosh you guys I'm literally crying, right now. Oh, I love this. This is just beautiful. I know that God is listening to you. And this is just one of the millions of examples. I think that's so incredible. So long story short, I'm going to stop crying for a minute so I can tell you, please email me at [email protected] with your address and with your size and I'll get you your incredibly soft pajamas and socks sent out to you. And FYI, I'm no longer selling those pajamas and socks. I really wanted to focus on my program, my tools to help you with infertility, and I've loved selling these products, but you can no longer buy them. The only way you can get them is by leaving a review. So please do so you're helping bring more women into this incredible group. And it's like, why not? Why not treat yourself with a pair of socks and a pair of my buttery soft bamboo PJ's.
[00:06:26] Jenica Parcell: Again, I wanted to also mention this is the second week that the Fearless Infertility Movement is available for you to join. I would love for you to join this free Facebook group. In this group we support one another, I share with you resources and tools that will allow you to progress through your infertility journey, not feeling alone. We have a prayer circle in there every Thursday, so we can pray for one another and uplift one another up. And I'm just excited to get to know you better and how I can best support you. I also share with you information when my program opens up, which the next opening will be April 1st. I'm really excited about it. I'm launching a whole new course in there that will really take you through step-by-step. It is the self timed course. So you're never behind, you can move through as fast or as slow as you want to, but it is literally life-changing and I'm so excited for you to get to experience it. So I'll put up all that information in the Facebook group, but if you just want to join the group for now and just check it out and stay in that group forever, then we would love to have you.
[00:07:22] Jenica Parcell: Alright my friends. So a recap if you don't know our story yet, and if you are just joining us or if you need a refresher or if you've been along for the ride with me the entire time, back in 2014, we started to try to conceive and honestly, at the time I was really nervous to even start trying, not even knowing we would have to experience infertility.
[00:07:44] Jenica Parcell: And it was a surprise for me when that motherly instinct finally came. And I really thought that that would be the main roadblock that we would have to get through. And I was like, all right, let's do it. We're going to get off birth control. I've kind of gotten over that fear and I'm ready for it.
[00:07:58] Jenica Parcell: And I had no idea what was to come. In so many ways, it was a blessing, looking back on it, especially where it's led me now in helping you with your infertility. But it was also really, really challenging as well. And obviously it's not something that I would have picked for myself. So, a year goes by, nothing has happened and Tyler and I are not conceiving, and so we go to a fertility center. And long story short in that regard, I blogged about the entire thing. If you go to asliceofstyle.com, which will soon be jenicaparcell.com just to simplify everything, but if you go there, the infertility blogs are all there. If you search at the very top under infertility, if you want to know the whole process. I blogged the entire thing with letters to our future child. But long story short, we did three IUI or intrauterine insemination. Did not work. We did two rounds of IVF. We did an egg retrieval and got three embryos that were viable. Transferred one. It failed. Transferred two the next time. It failed and I ended up with a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage on an airplane in China. Why were we in China? We were on a vacation and it was honestly, at the time, I considered it a blessing because it was really great distraction from a really big disappointment.
[00:09:12] Jenica Parcell: So I get back from China, I wrote the entire thing out on my blog. Didn't necessarily intend to publish it. It just felt really therapeutic to write it all out. And then I got this impression on my heart that I needed to share it, and I was sweating and I was nervous and I pondered it and sat on it for a couple of weeks. I ran the idea by friends, by family members, and finally decided to hit publish back in 2015 about the infertility story up until that point. And I had absolutely no idea what response I'd get. I had no idea how common infertility was. Now, it's literally everywhere, right? You either are someone who are experiencing infertility or you know someone. You have a good friend or a family member that's experiencing infertility. [00:09:52] Jenica Parcell: And I just was completely blown away. I did not expect so many women to reach out and say, me too. I didn't expect them to say thank you for sharing your story. I feel less alone. And it was really a path that God sent me on to be able to seek and provide tools to help you get through your infertility experience and to help you feel less alone in your infertility experience.
[00:10:12] Jenica Parcell: So fast forward, this was back in 2015. We did another round of IVF with another egg retrieval at the end of 2016. After the egg retrieval, I got ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. It was just a really traumatic experience. We waited a few months. So basically what happens is you just get a bunch of fluid in your abdomen. Your ovaries are freaking out. And it's just not a pretty situation, but we got through it. We ended up transferring two embryos who are now Harris and Goldie. And so all of that bled into my pregnancy and a twin pregnancy was not easy to say the least. I ended up getting preeclampsia. I started gaining 10 pounds a week with water. And I was like, I don't think this is normal. So, I actually had taken Tyler to his post-op appointment. He had had nasal surgery and we thought, okay, great. Now is a good time we. Won't deliver for at least another month. And then his surgery was on a Friday. I took him to his post op appointment on Monday and I was feeling terrible. So I had Tyler's doctor check my blood pressure and it was really, really high. So I called my doctor. Said, all right, this is my blood pressure, what's going on? He was not in the office. So the person on call just said, alright, don't go back to work, go home, drink some water, take a nap. I woke up, still felt really bad. And it was like that, that intuition where something was wrong. So, randomly my father-in-law shows up at our door.
[00:11:31] Jenica Parcell: My mother-in-law was out of town and he just randomly showed up to say, hi. My husband couldn't drive at the time because he was on drugs for his nasal surgery, and I felt a little bit nervous to drive because I felt very, very off. So he randomly shows up. Another thing, like I will reiterate on today's podcast review, hi God, I see you, right? That was another situation where it was perfect timing. And we went to the hospital. I got checked in, it was confirmed through protein in my urine and through blood work that I did in fact have preeclampsia. And I ended up delivering at 32 weeks, and my babies were in the NICU for five weeks. So that is a very small recap of what happened.
[00:12:11] Jenica Parcell: So all of that to say, deciding I wanted to do this all over again was really, really difficult. And I think I may have some form of PTSD, right? And I haven't been diagnosed having gone to a therapist or anything. Coaching has really, really helped get me through this. So that's why I like to provide you with the tools that helped me through as well. And I had gone through a lot, not only to conceive the twins, but carrying the twins, delivering the twins and then, oh yeah, I forgot. I actually had the Epstein-Barr virus after I delivered them as well, because my body at that point was like, all right, girl, we're done. We cannot do this anymore. And so then I had to recover from that a few years later. And so I was terrified to try this all again, and I would think about it and I would cry. And there were so many thoughts that have helped me, which I'll tell you about in a little bit, which may help you move forward after you have traumatic experiences like I have. So I feel like for me, so far, the biggest hurdle was literally just deciding to move forward again and to try again and to open myself up to that vulnerability of getting sick again and of having a really challenging pregnancy again. And it was so much, I found myself really, really struggling. And I know that having a child is incredibly difficult and you would do anything to get there, but I also know that a few people may have the misconception that once they become a mom, life will be easy and it's always 50 50, however. So motherhood is still extremely hard and I knew this going into this, right? It wasn't like, okay, I need to get through the infertility treatments. I need to get through the pregnancy and then it will be dreamy. It's like, no being a mom is still really hard and all your dreams don't magically come true, and your life isn't rainbows and butterflies and unicorns, and this dream world, when you actually become a mom, right? So I have loved having Harris and Goldie. They've been a dream come true. And truthfully, they have been enough for me. And they've been above all my wildest dreams, but I had this tug in my heart that kept telling me if I didn't try again, I think I would regret it when I was older. And so I kind of asked my future self, will you regret not trying? Do you think you'll look back and regret not trying for another baby? And the answer was yes. And I didn't want it to be yes, you guys. Because I was happy with Harris and Goldie. I have a boy. I have a girl. I have Tyler. We have this beautiful family. But every time I asked my future self, do you think you're going to regret not trying at least one more time, the answer was yes.
[00:14:38] Jenica Parcell: So I think that going back to motherhood, some of the things that you can look forward to is that for me, the hard parts have been softened by infertility. And me wanting them so bad and trying so desperately to get them here is beautiful. It really helps to soften those moments that would otherwise, I think drive you crazy or that are really, really difficult. And they have not been as difficult for me because of my experience with infertility. So that's something you have to look forward to if you don't have any children yet, but will one day.
[00:15:11] Jenica Parcell: I also want to add that it's okay if you are feeling the trauma from past experiences. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you for not wanting to try an IUI or moving on to IVF, if that's your only option. And there's nothing wrong with you for feeling the trauma and those scared emotions, and one of the things that helped get me through this was really allowing myself so much grace in the process where I found myself several times just sobbing and crying. And just letting it all out and talking to myself, like I would a friend and say, of course you feel like this, of course you are terrified. Of course you don't want to do this again.
[00:15:50] Jenica Parcell: So I want to share with you some thoughts that have helped me move through that. I have allowed those really big, heavy emotions, but I also know that it's not necessary to live in fear, which was where I was living for awhile. And I've processed that. And I'm through it to the point where I did decide to do IVF. And even though there were some really difficult days where I felt absolutely horrible, I was able to get through them because of these certain thoughts that I want to offer you as well.
[00:16:20] Jenica Parcell: One of those thoughts that has really helped me a lot is that you won't feel sick forever. So when I first started doing the infertility treatments again for the frozen embryo transfer, I started feeling incredibly, incredibly nauseous. And my body can relate to that in my past experience with infertility treatments and with pregnancy and I had this really fight or flight defense mechanism coming up for me where my body's like, oh no, this is danger. We've got to stop this. And, and kind of that panic feeling. So one of those thoughts that has helped me is that I won't feel sick forever. And knowing that it's temporary really allows me to accept the moment. I don't like it, right? I don't appreciate it, but it allows me to accept it versus running in fear and really panicking.
[00:17:03] Jenica Parcell: Another thought that has helped me a lot. I know that a lot of you are experiencing secondary infertility. And one of the things that has kind of kept me going throughout this process is that for me, it'll be so much fun to see Harris and Goldie as a big brother and sister. And I can handle this present moment with them. So, it kind of stressed me out a little bit for awhile when I thought about trying again, because it's really been on my heart for the past couple of years, but one, I really don't think I could handle it. Having twins was very challenging in so many ways. And I wanted to get to the point where I could really enjoy it and I could really be a mother without feeling overwhelmed 100% of the time and that included having them be a little bit older and more independent. Now that also caused me some stress as well, because I slightly feel bad for this new child who will technically be an only child in the home for six years, right? Harris and Goldie will graduate from high school and that child will still be in our home for the next six years. And so it kind of stressed me out a little bit too. And so another thought that really helped me is that there's no perfect scenario and this next child and this next baby will come into the world at the time when this child is supposed to come into the world. And I love it because from that lens, I can really open up my possibility brain, right? The possibility part of my brain that can seek for evidence of that thought being true. And it genuinely will be so much fun for me to see Harris and Goldie as six year olds that can really appreciate the process with me. They've been so beautiful and thoughtful throughout this entire process through infertility. Tyler and I have been very open about them with it. And it's been really, really fun. And I've just really been able to find evidence for that thought that this is the perfect time for this child to come into the world. This is the perfect time for us to be doing infertility treatments. And this is the perfect time for a new addition to our family. So in truly starting to believe that I'm able to open up those possibilities of, okay, well, how can that be true? And I'm finding so many exciting things that I'm looking forward to, including seeing Harris and Goldie throughout this process of me being pregnant and then also them as an older brother and sister. I think it's going to be so much fun and they're going to be so cute. So that really helped me to move from fear to being able to move forward and pass that fear to take those next steps in my infertility experience.
[00:19:20] Jenica Parcell: Another thought that I briefly mentioned a minute ago is that I can handle this present moment. So a lot of the panic that I was feeling was based on looking into the future and going to that thought that really causes a lot of anxiety, which is I can't handle it. So I was recently at a business mastermind with my coach, Jody Moore. We were in California. And one of the men in the mastermind, his name is Dr. Paul. I actually don't even know what his last name is. He just goes by Dr. Paul. He's super awesome. He's a psychologist. He has a lot of really great psychology tips, videos, tools on positivity and the brain. And one of the things that he said that I thought was really valuable in our mastermind was that anxiety is caused by really one thought, right? We can have a bunch of thoughts leading up to it, but the main thought is that I can't handle this. And I thought how true that was, where I would think about the future, and I would be concerned about something happening in the future, and then I would panic because I would think, oh my gosh, this is going to happen again. I'm going to get preeclampsia. I'm going to feel like I'm trapped in my own body. I'm going to get so sick that I'm going to have to deliver two months early. It will take me years to recover like it did before. And it's like living in the present with my body, but really in the future with my brain, and it could also be the exact opposite. So, one thing that has helped me a lot is that thought I can handle this present moment and it brings me back. Right now I'm sitting in my office. Right now I don't feel sick and everything could be absolutely amazing. So I can handle this present moment, bringing myself back here versus predicting really terrible things that could happen, but probably won't in the future hasn't been helpful.
[00:20:57] Jenica Parcell: I read a quote the other day by Jeffrey R. Holland. He gave a talk in the ensign. It's a magazine for our church in January 2010, called The Best Is Yet to Be. And this really stood out for me to have hope and to live in the moment and not think about the present moment in comparison to the past or the future, but to live right here right now. And I think we will all be a lot happier and more peaceful if we follow the words that he lived by, or that he shared with us. He said, "I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future." And he's referring to the Bible. He said, "Lot's wife did not have faith. She doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind. Dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right. It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ." I thought this was so beautiful as well, because for me, I look at the past and I'm terrified because of it. For you, you may look at the past and be seeking for that, right I think a lot of us continue to do that, especially in relation to infertility and when we see the heartache that it has caused us a lot of the time. And when we say to ourselves things like, oh, if I only could go back to those more simple days. And I just don't think that that's the way that life was supposed to be lived.
[00:22:44] Jenica Parcell: I love the way that he put it and for me, another tip as well to help me be present is I started meditating. So Tyler and I have a Peloton and I've just put on some of their guided meditations before bed every night. Just 10 quick minutes. But it really helps me with my breathing, getting enough oxygen to my brain and helping me to be in this present moment, because right now, I do have this. And I can also compare my success rate in the past. I have survived. Any difficult situation that I've ever been in. I have survived because I'm living, breathing, talking to you right now. So I have a lot of evidence to prove that I will also survive the things that happen to me in the future, no matter how hard they are, and not only that, but I can prove to myself and gain characteristics and self-confidence that I can feel any terrible thing and still move forward and move through the life's challenges that will come my way.
[00:23:35] Jenica Parcell: I wanted to also share with you a few things that I am learning from this process. One of the things, is that in regards to stressing about the future and making up a story that could be horrific, for me, it doesn't help to think about the worst case scenario because I can genuinely come up with really terrible scenarios, right? I can come up with things that will 99% of the time probably not happen, but it's terrifying and I don't want to move forward when I think like that. So for me, it helps me to remind myself that yes, that could happen, it probably won't, and at least give that 50% air time to those situations that could be incredible in the future, right? So yeah, maybe I could get preeclampsia. Maybe I will have to deliver my child early. Also, maybe I could feel really incredible my entire pregnancy and maybe I'll deliver at 40 weeks and maybe it will be a beautiful experience, right? So at least give yourself that reminder to give at least 50% airtime to a really beautiful story that could work out for you really well.
[00:24:40] Jenica Parcell: All right. So I wanted to update you as far as this frozen embryo transfer has been. One of the things that I have experienced this time around has been nausea. And so first and foremost, I'll just kind of go through like a little recap of what we did last time in the IVF cycle that worked. And, and what we carried with us this time in the frozen embryo transfer that worked this time.
[00:25:09] Jenica Parcell: So, I obviously follow the protocols that the doctors give me. I also question them as well sometimes. So I think it's really important to be able to advocate for yourself and understand what each medication will do.
[00:25:22] Jenica Parcell: So last time in the IVF cycle that worked that you can read about on asliceofstyle.com, under infertility at the top, is we did acupuncture. And when I say we, I mean, I, and I went in and I did acupuncture before, and I actually did acupuncture after the embryo transfer as well. I really believe in these ancient types of healing and I think it's beautiful to be able to do as much as you can naturally, while also relying on medicine to help you with those parts that you just can't do on your own. So that's one of the things that I did is acupuncture. We also used a medication called Neupogen, and I believe that it was originally discovered in trying to help cancer patients. And essentially what it does, if I'm explaining it right, is it helps with cell generation. And so you order it through the prescription that your doctor gives you and they basically paint it inside of your uterus a few days before embryo transfer. So we had our embryo transfer on a Friday. I went in on Monday, brought it with me. They used a catheter to put it up there and kind of paint it through my uterus, and it helps with, basically in layman's terms, make your uterus more sticky so that the embryo will stick. So that's another thing that we did. So we did not do an egg retrieval this time because we already had enough embryos from last egg retrieval. But one of the things that we did as well, is that my egg quality wasn't very good. So Dr. Foulk gave me a human growth hormone shot. I believe it was a week before egg retrieval last time and it made the egg success or the embryo success of the ones that fertilized, it made the eggs fertilized three times better. So instead of the three embryos that fertilize the first time we got nine embryos the second time. So we didn't need to do that at this time, like I said, because we use one of our embryos that we already had, but a lot of the things that we did last time just did the same. And it worked out very beautifully. So you can read that blog post if you want. I will also update my blog, asliceofstyle.com, with the protocol that we did this time as well.
[00:27:27] Jenica Parcell: I started feeling really nauseous and I'm not sure the exact cause of it, but I was taking estradiol valerate and progesterone and oil injections, and I started getting very, very nauseous. So I took Diclegis, which is one of the things that you can take for nausea when you're pregnant, and that just made me very, very tired, like so exhausted. I felt like I was taking NyQuil, which wasn't worth it for me and so my IVF coordinator called in Zofran and that helped a lot on the days that I could hardly function, I was so nauseous. I also think that getting enough sleep is vitally important. Not only for those of us who are experiencing infertility, but everybody. If you want to live and give your brain and your organs, the best chance of producing at the highest quality, then getting eight hours of sleep is genuinely important. And so I actually think I might do a challenge here soon with you guys with that, so if you haven't, like I said, join the Fearless Infertility Movement, Facebook group. We can do a challenge for that because it's a hard one, right? You want to relax. You want to watch a show, but in reality, I think that we will function at our highest and there's been, I mean, scientific study after scientific study that getting enough sleep is vitally important.
[00:28:27] Jenica Parcell: I also did a podcast with gutsy mom the other day, my friend, Juanique Roney and she suggested getting eight servings of veggies in that podcast episode, which when she initially said I was very hesitant. That felt like a lot to me, it felt like a lot of chewing. It felt like a lot of chopping and I'm like, no, thanks. But one of the things that she said that I have started doing in the last two weeks is chopping a bunch of vegetables at the beginning of the week and then sautéing those for breakfast. And you can also saute them for lunch and half cup of veggies is one serving. So I'll do two cups in the morning. That's half my veggies for the day, and then I'll also do a green smoothie and that's my other half. And that has made getting vegetables a lot, more easy for me. So I, I hope you go back and listen to that podcast as well with Juanique Roney. It's really, really helpful and insightful.
[00:29:16] Jenica Parcell: I also wanted to share with you that I have recently noticed that if I don't eat a lot of sugar or gluten, that I feel 1 billion times better. So I haven't been super nauseous for a week since I started doing that. I noticed that when I do eat gluten or sugar, my belly gets super bloated and I start feeling really nauseous again. So I would highly recommend cutting that out as much as possible if you are feeling really sick during your infertility treatments. I am still doing the progesterone suppositories every night, the estradiol valerate injections on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the progesterone in oil shots every day until I'm 10 weeks pregnant.
[00:29:53] Jenica Parcell: Transfer day was a really great day. It was a really beautiful day and I want to talk about the highlights and the silver linings of being able to experience beautiful moments that you wouldn't be able to experience otherwise if you hadn't gone through really challenging experiences. And there are days when I want to be mad, right? There are days that I want to be angry, that I live in fear. And then there's also days and moments where I pull myself out of those thoughts, and I am able to process through them and then move on to those thoughts that feel a lot better, and transfer day was one of those beautiful days where I thought to myself, I would not get to experience this beautiful love of so many incredible people who are praying for us and coming together with their immense faith if I wasn't going through this. And it brought me to tears several times, because I am just in awe of the faith that it takes for people to pray to the Father on your behalf. It is the most beautiful experience I honestly think that I have ever experienced in my life is being the recipient of prayer, and people petitioning to our Heavenly Father on your behalf. It's the most humbling, joyful, beautiful thing. And if I hadn't experienced infertility, I wouldn't get to feel that.
[00:31:15] Jenica Parcell: So on transfer day, I woke up. I exercised. Honestly, I maybe shouldn't have, but I just wanted to get out of the house. I was feeling a little restless and I took it really, really easy and I just ran a few errands. I took a shower. I took a nap. And then we went in for the transfer and Tyler cracked me up. He got home from work and kept calling me his hot baby making mama. I was in my office and he's like, okay, my hot baby making mama let's come down. He's so good about the humor in it all. And he actually is the one that taught me that I cope with a lot of my anxiety and stress with humor, and that it's okay to have fun, even in these really hard situations. So we had a good time. We drove there. I was nervous. I walked in. They give you a little bottle of water if you need one and tell you that you can take your Ambien, which really relaxes you and makes your whole body relaxed for the embryo transfer. We sat there for 30 minutes and took a few pictures. We took a picture in front of the fertility center. And then we went back and I saw my doctor and I just have this immense sense of gratitude for Dr. Foulk. He's, such a smart, kind person and such an immense sense of gratitude for my IVF coordinator, Danica, who has never gotten frustrated. I mean, I ask a million questions. I am my own best advocate. Truly. I've learned that through this process and I ask a million questions. I want to know why we do certain things. I want to know all the details and she has always been so gracious and so kind.
[00:32:41] Jenica Parcell: I also found out a few hours beforehand that Sean, who I've also done a podcast episode with, he's the embryologist that has helped us with our embryos. And he came in that day just for our embryo transfer. And it just felt like we were this family and this team and I just felt so blessed by this group of people that have come together and that it doesn't just take me, Tyler, and God. It takes me, Tyler, God, an embryologist, an endocrinologist, an IVF coordinator, you know, I mean, countless people to help us get pregnant, but there's also so much beauty in that because there's so much love in that. And he talked to us. I ended up getting undressed from the waist down. And. Danica checked my bladder to make sure my bladder was full because Dr. Foulk is able to see the uterus a lot better and see where the exact spot is that we need to transfer the embryo to. And he double checked to make sure it was just one embryo. We wanted to transfer. We don't know the gender. I didn't feel good about choosing a gender. We actually had an embryo that was the highest quality girl and the highest quality boy. And they were the exact same grade. Neither Tyler nor I could feel good about choosing either ones. We let them choose. We don't know yet. We'll do a gender reveal, which will be really fun. And Sean came in. Danica, came in, Dr. Foulk came in and Dr. Foulk transfer the embryo and it was beautiful. He was able to see the exact right spot to put it in with such care. And it was just a really cool experience. [00:34:06] Jenica Parcell: So then we got home and my mother-in-law had picked up my kids from school and they were so excited to see me. They were so gentle and kind, and it was just really special to have all of our family there. And then I rested for two days. So Dr. Foulk recommends two princess' days is what he calls it, which I can get on board with like at least once a week, right? And he put the embryo in the exact right spot. So if you rest, then you don't move your uterus around a lot and the embryo can implant in the best possible place for it to be able to be a successful transfer. So it was a beautiful day. It was a beautiful weekend. We had like my sister paid for our dinner on Saturday night, my mother-in-law brought us dinner on Friday night. My mom made us dinner on Sunday night. My friends sent flowers. It was just a really beautiful experience. And so that's, that's one thing I want to offer to you. Yes, it is very challenging and very hard to experience infertility. And no, I wouldn't choose it, right. I wouldn't choose that for myself. And you're also allowed to see the beauty in it. You're also allowed to see the silver lining. And those gifts that only this experience can give you. So I hope you're able to do that and I will help you with that as well. So please make sure to join the Fearless Infertility Movement Facebook group. I can't wait to get to know you more. And thanks for being here. I will see you here next week my friend. I will talk to you soon. Bye.
[00:35:27] Jenica Parcell: I know how tough it is to struggle through infertility. If you're ready to get ahead of the pain and frustration, the best way is to create an ironclad mindset. That's where it all starts. I have the best free download for you. You're going to love it. It's my free Morning Mindset Magic Checklist. You'll get the seven tips I use to create my mindset each morning so I can create a life I love, despite my challenges. You will lower your anxiety and increase your peace. I spent a couple of years of trial and error and finally came upon this list of actions I take or never take every morning, even when I don't want to, because they work every single time. Download for free at fearlessinfertility.com/mindsetmagic.
[00:36:12] Jenica Parcell: Thanks for listening to Fearless Infertility. If you want the best infertility support and community on the planet, visit fearlessinfertility.com. See you there.