48. You Can LITERALLY Be Whoever You Want and Here's How

Jan 24, 2022

You deserve to be unapologetically you. No emotion, self limiting thought, or negative mindset should take that from you. But unfortunately, we often find ourselves there, sitting in the negative thoughts and believing that we don't deserve to be who we want to be. But what if there was a way to literally be whoever you WANT to be?

Join me this week as I share how to bridge the gap between your negative thoughts and how to be curious about your feelings and real emotions that confront you during the trials we face in life. You will add a new tool to your arsenal to be able to confront the difficulty and feel empowered to be authentically you. 

 

 ✨ The doors to my Fearless Infertility program are open! You have access to group calls, a community of women seeking the same support as you, and so much more! Click here to join me. I’m excited to see you there!

 

 ✨ If you’re looking to strengthen your relationships during your infertility journey, then you have to come join my FREE class called How to Keep Your Relationship Strong During Infertility! Click here to sign up and I hope to see you there!

 

✨ Have you heard about my Morning Mindset Magic Checklist? It’s a free download I will send right to your inbox, filled with the exact things I do every single morning to set myself up for success. If you want in on it, simply click here to get it!

 

✨ Leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts (and make sure hit the "+" sign at the top to subscribe), and listen in each week as I announce a new winner of my PJ's and socks! This helps other women that are seeking support to more easily find Fearless Infertility. You're the best!

 

What You'll Learn on This Episode:

  • Update on our Baby #3 IVF journey
  • Acknowledging your negative thoughts and learning how to handle them
  • Allowing yourself to be unapologetically you
  • How you may be unintentionally holding yourself back from the life you deserve
  • What to do when negative thoughts come in your mind
  • How being curious about your feelings can push you into who you are meant to be

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

 

 

Featured on the Show:

  • Leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts to be entered into my weekly giveaway of pajama and sock sets from Fearless Infertility!
  • Come hang out with me on Instagram!
  • Doors are open for my Fearless Infertility program! Make sure to get on my email list to receive my newsletters when new podcasts drop, to hear about any news happening in the program, or read infertility journeys from other women in the community!

 

Enjoy the Show?

 

Full Episode Transcript:

 

 [00:00:00] Hi friends. Welcome to fearless infertility, a podcast for women struggling with the mental anguish that comes with infertility. My name is Jenica. And after suffering in silence for too long, I was able to pull myself out of the dark, take control over my mind and create joy during my infertility experience. I'm here to help you do the same sister. Let's dive into today's show.

[00:00:28] Welcome back to fearless infertility, episode 48. You can literally be whoever you want and here's how. I'm so excited to share this episode with you today, about ways that you are viewing yourself in your life that are holding you back and how to get around that so you can become the person that you dream of being.

[00:00:47] Let's go. What's up y'all. Welcome back to fearless infertility. I'm so excited that you are here with me today and you know why I'm so excited? I'll tell you. I'm excited because when you show up here, either through listening or watching this podcast episode, you are also saying yes to yourself. You're also saying yes to, there is a possibility that even though you may not know the next right step in discovering how to get the results that you want in your

[00:01:15] life, whether that be an infertility or any other situation, you are simply saying that you think it's a possibility and that you know that the next step is on you. And that is rare. That is rare. I want you guys to be proud of yourselves in showing up here and saying, you know, I don't maybe know all the right steps, but I do know that I am in control of most of the things that happen in my life, that there are circumstances that happen to me, like infertility that I wouldn't choose, but this is my circumstance and I will do what I can to create a life that I love.

[00:01:48] And by you showing up here, that is what that's saying to me. So I want you to be very proud of yourself and hold your head high today and say, you know, I don't know everything, but I do know that I can control a lot and I'm going to figure out how to do that. And that is why I'm here. That is what I show up for every week is for you to show you the tools that you are capable of learning, and then applying in your life to create a life that you love, even during infertility. To have joy even on those really, really hard times where you don't know if there's room for both. And I'm here to tell you that there is room for both. That life is very, very difficult and life can also be very, very joyful. And there is room for both in your life. So hold your head high sister. I'm so glad that you were [00:02:30] here with me today.

[00:02:31] I wanted to share with you a podcast review today. And this review is by username Morgan fb712 or the username, or excuse me, the podcast title review of the review is one year and eight months. She says, I have been trying to conceive for one year and eight months. I had a chemical pregnancy in June of 21.

[00:02:50] A miscarriage September 21, a miscarriage, December 31st, 21. On Christmas Eve, I woke up in the worst pain of my life and underwent emergency surgery. I was full of blood with a seven to 10 centimeter tumor on my right ovary and severe endometriosis, which I never knew I had. My right ovary and right

[00:03:07] fallopian had to be removed. Not ideal for trying to conceive. I woke up from surgery just so happy the doctor was able to keep my pregnancy. I was hopeful that this was going to be my miracle baby, but then a week later on New Year's Eve, I was back in the ER miscarrying. I met with an infertility specialist in March, and I am petrified of doing IVF

[00:03:25] if it comes down to it. I have been listening to your podcast for a few months and it has really helped me cope. I have not given up hope. As crazy as it sounds, I can't wait to try again in the next few months. Thank you for your podcast. Please email me at [email protected] That's Jenica, J E N I C A with your size and address and I will send you the PJ's and

[00:03:45] socks from The Slice of Sun. And if anybody else would like to leave us a review, the reason why it's really, really important for me is because it makes the podcast more visible. And there are many people, as you can probably relate to, that they find out they have infertility.

[00:04:01] It is something that they never thought they would experience themselves. And then they're like, now what? Right. We, we go to school. We have different preparations for many of the experiences in our lives, but infertility typically is not one of those things. And so that can lead us to feel very, very alone.

[00:04:16] And we don't know the next steps. We have no idea how common it common it is. There's one in eight people that experience infertility. And by you leaving a review, a simple review that I promise you takes 30 seconds, that you will be able to help make this podcast more visible to those people who are alone. And it's in your hands.

[00:04:36] So I appreciate you for helping me in my cause to bring more women into this space, to support them. I wanted to give you guys an update on my infertility experience. So we have had an interesting go in our lives the last month. And it all started back in June or July. I had been tossing around, back and forth,

[00:04:58] do I want to do IVF again? And I liken it to looking into the barrel of a gun because you know, what's coming. You know, what's coming in, it's going to hurt. Okay. The first time I went through it, I didn't know what to expect. I knew that it would probably be fairly difficult, but a lot of the things that happened

[00:05:19] during IVF, after IVF, and then during my twin pregnancy, and even after my twin pregnancy, when I got, uh, Epstein-Barr virus, it just was a whole experience that I wouldn't like to repeat. And so my brain is offering me all of these thoughts that are not helpful for me. It's offering me thoughts like this is going to be horrible.

[00:05:38] Why on earth would you want to do it again? You wouldn't. What sane person would? It is going to be completely difficult. It is going to be awful and mess up the current family dynamic that you have right now. And this has been challenging for me. And I'm sure a lot of you can relate to those thoughts where they feel very real.

[00:06:01] Right? And so what I want to offer to you is they can be real. And I think that life is 50 50. And because it's 50 50, there will be hard things that come across in our lives for

[00:06:15] us to experience. It is what it is. It's what we signed up for when we, when we decided to be a human being. And I also want to offer to you that it's not helpful to always give a hundred percent air time to the negative things regardless of whether they are true or not.

[00:06:31] I think it's helpful to acknowledge. If you want, if you choose and also acknowledge that it could also be amazing also acknowledge that there is the other 50% of the human experience that is miraculous, joyful, incredible, fantastic. And that you as a human being deserve that airtime on the joyful things you deserve to feel the joy as much as we all feel the sadness and the heartache of life.

[00:07:01] And for me, it's been a very conscious effort this last few weeks, as I've been genuinely debating about truly moving forward with IVF. I was noticing that I was focusing all of my negativity. Uh, like I was giving all of my thoughts to the negative things that could happen. That did happen to me in the past.

[00:07:23] Now, focusing on that made me feel like crap. It made me feel like I was out of control and that I was making is really dumb decision if I ended up moving forward. And I was noticing that 100% of my thoughts were going to all of those things that could have been absolutely horrible. Doing IVF again, and even bringing another child into our family.

[00:07:43] And so what I've been trying to do the last few weeks is really step back. And from a place of curiosity is say, brain, I appreciate you. You're just trying to protect me. It was just the truth. My brain sees danger and it's trying to protect me. That experience with my IVF, with my pregnancy, with my delivery, with after my delivery in the past, that happened.

[00:08:04] And it was not good. Okay. Just to summarize it in general, it was not an overall pleasant experience. And my brain is like, you know, girl, I'm just going to go ahead and protect you and tell you that is a terrible idea to do that again. Right? And from my prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brains that we make decisions from in a nonreactive way, we are proactive. I can also look at the experience and say, yeah, but there were also many, many amazing things that came from it too. I was able to grow in so many ways that I would not have been able to grow in otherwise. I got two beautiful, amazing children that I would never give back that I would never choose to not go through that because they were worth it.

[00:08:45] And there are so many amazing experiences and feelings that I got to experience along the way as well. I also got to gain characteristics of empathy. I was talking to a friend earlier today and I told her one of the things that I feel that I can really relate to in a very, very small way, because it was a short time of my life,

[00:09:02] is those people who are in chronic pain. When I was experiencing infertility and finally got these babies and I was pregnant with these twins, I felt towards those later months that I was genuinely trapped in my body. I'm like, I can not walk down the stairs normally. My ankles literally, I thought there was going to be stretch marks on my ankles, which is not a good feeling.

[00:09:25] I'm like, don't worry about my stomach. My ankles have like three rolls on each one. I couldn't even bend them. And so it really limited me in the amount of things that I was able to do and, and the normal life that I was used to being able to live. And because of that short, tiny experience, I now have a small glimpse into what it is like to have chronic pain.

[00:09:45] And that's something that I gained through the experience that I had. So I am now able to be more empathetic and there are so many other incredible characteristics that I have. And so much of life that I would have missed out on had I not had the experience of

[00:10:00] infertility. So yes, it's amazing. And yes, it's difficult and there is room for both. And so I've been going back and forth a lot in these last few months about whether or not I want to proceed and move forward. And I've talked to people. I've cried. I mean, you should've seen me last week. You guys, holy cow. Uh, it was a snot fest. It was like she's heaving. She has snot. She's gasping.

[00:10:27] And it was also really incredible to see how I reacted to it. Because I think in the past I would have, you know, not been as gentle with myself and been like, okay girl, gotta pull yourself together. You've just gotta like figure it out. And I would've thought there maybe have been something wrong with.

[00:10:41] Whereas now I just let myself cry. I'm like, obviously this girl needs to cry. Obviously she has past experienced trauma that she's just got to process through and that's okay. And so it was really cool to see myself in reacting to myself. And really speaking to myself very gently and saying to myself, things like it's okay.

[00:11:01] Yeah. You've been through a lot and yeah, that was a really hard experience. It was awful. Of course you don't want to do it again. Of course, it's scary for you. It's all right. You got this. And it was just this really cool experience that I was able to have with myself to build trust with myself, that I'm going to take care of myself.

[00:11:15] And if this girl needs to cry, this girl's going to cry. And also remind myself that when I want to stop feeling that way and I feel like I've processed through those emotions and allowed them versus resisting them and pretending they're not there, that I then know how to move forward by also giving equal airtime to those really amazing things that I've gotten to experience, and that will happen and could possibly happen in the future.

[00:11:40] And let me let you in on a little secret. Either way it's made up, right? My future pregnancy could be horrific. It could be horrible. I could get preeclampsia again. I can deliver early again. I can have my baby in the NICU again. That could be true, but we don't know. It could also be fantastic. I could also not get nauseous.

[00:12:00] I could also feel great the entire pregnancy. I could also have a wonderful delivery where this time my husband is fully present because he didn't just have surgery several days prior. Right? So either way, it's made up right now. Either way, the future hasn't happened. We don't have a crystal ball. We don't know.

[00:12:17] And so why not at least give equal airtime to the story that it's going to be incredible. And that's brought me a lot of peace and it's brought me to the point where I can consciously from a place of

[00:12:30] love versus a place of fear, decide that it's time to move forward. So I had my appointment yesterday and by the time you're listening to this, it will be a little bit after. So I had my appointment on January 18th and we did the baseline ultrasound, which is what they do after you start your period. A few days later, they just check inside your uterus. They check in your ovaries and make sure there are no issues. Last time I had cysts in both of my ovaries and between you and I, I think it was probably caused by birth control, which I'm not doing this time.

[00:13:00] Thankfully, my fertility doctor and my IVF coordinator that works for him is super they're super open. And they know that and respect what I want. And so I wanted to share with you that if you need that support and you're not getting it from where you're at and you know what you want, and something just doesn't sit right with you and you can find a place that does support you.

[00:13:27] I'm so lucky that I said, you know, I'm not going to do birth control anymore. It literally makes me feel like I'm going absolutely crazy. Like I'm crawling out of my skin and it's not supposed to do this. It's not supposed to give you cysts. But I think that, that what's what happened last time. So they listened to me and I did not have any cysts.

[00:13:43] Danica my IVF coordinator called me and she said that I have a uterine lining that is a little bit thicker than normal. And so I'm going to go back on Friday and I'm going to check and make sure that it's thinned out. I'm still on my period as we speak right now. So the uterine lining should thin out, but I am

[00:14:03] uh, I'm going to go back there. Another issue that came up was during my blood draw, my thyroid levels are off and so I need to get my thyroid medication adjusted. During the first infertility bout, shall we call it? I had the feedback from the blood results that I had, that my thyroid was off. And I had hypothyroidism, which means that I just need a medicine to help correct

[00:14:28] that. I've been taking it ever since. And I currently have a compounded thyroid medicine that I use, but we need to get that adjusted. So I will be going back and I will be checking my uterine lining in a few days and I will also be adjusting that medication. So that's my latest update and it's been up and down and there has been so much self-love throughout this

[00:14:48] experience that wasn't there before. I didn't allow myself to feel bad. I would cry for a minute and be like, well, Jenica, you're not allowed to feel bad because you have an amazing marriage and you have a really

[00:15:00] great job. So there are other people that they're allowed to cry and you're not. And that, that is insane to me. It's insane to me and it felt so logical to me last time. And so what I want to offer you is the thought that you are allowed to give yourself grace through this process. You were allowed to look at your actions and how you're feeling with curiosity and kind of look at it as talking to yourself as you would, someone that you adore your best friend, your mom, your sister, whoever that may be for you and say, what's going on?

[00:15:33] What's going on? So if you're having reactions that are surprising you, I think it's a really beautiful place to start and then letting yourself process through those. And that has been what has helped me a lot, the last little bit leading up to finally deciding that we actually do want to move forward with our infertility treatments and that we feel good about going forward and, uh, moving forward with another IVF cycle.

[00:15:55] As of now, my decision has been to move forward with one more IVF cycle. And if it doesn't work, then we're done trying. Now, can I change my own in the future? Sure. But that's, what's bringing me a lot of peace right now. It's probably what we'll end up doing. Hopefully it works. If it doesn't, then that's our answer.

[00:16:13] And I also reserve the right to change my mind in the future. So that's where we're at right now. I hope some of those thoughts that I've shared with you in my experience may help you in looking at your experience right now in whatever you're dealing with, whether that's infertility or other trials in your life, which I know are there, that these thoughts that I've offered you can maybe help you look at things in a different way that will allow you to process them and get the results that you want in your life.

[00:16:38] Today's podcast topic is something kind of funny, honestly, and it's brought up it's from two experiences that I had. Honestly kind of a long time ago. And I'll be exercising and I'll be driving in the car and I will have these thoughts that will pop in my mind and say, I've got to do a podcast episode on that because I know if I'm experiencing this other people have as well.

[00:17:01] So I want to give you two stories. Okay? The first story is, I don't even know where I was when I thought this, this was several years ago when we had moved into our house and I remember thinking to myself, this is so funny you guys, I remember thinking to myself, I wish I was the kind of girl that had plants hanging in her room.

[00:17:19] And that felt very, very far off for me. Oddly enough. I don't know why. Right? I don't know why, but I thought to myself, I wish I was the girl that had the, the fresh plants hanging in her room. And she just

[00:17:30] had those little hooks in the ceiling and she had those beautiful little pots that were hanging by those, I don't even know what they're called, like just the beautiful hanging basket things. And the plants were in there and they were draping off and they were fresh plants. I'm like, I wish I was that girl. And, and in my mind, I'm like, oh, but you're not, you're not that girl. And I was like, Okay. All of a sudden it hit me one day,

[00:17:50] I'm like, why couldn't you be it's you you're literally the boss of your own life. Why could you not be the girl that has plants hanging in her room? It's it's insane to me looking back on it, but I was just like, oh, I'm not that girl. I wish I was cool like that. And then all of a sudden I was like, oh wait, you're actually the creator of your life, you know?

[00:18:08] And you can actually be that girl. So it, and honestly enough, it wouldn't even take that much effort. You just got to go on Amazon, you got to buy one of those clips or you could even go to home Depot, you know, you've got, you've got options and you could just have your husband help you drill into the ceiling.

[00:18:23] Cause that's like I don't do that kind of stuff. I mean, I could, if I like really wanted it to, but I don't really want to. And so you could just like, have someone help you with it. And you could just make it happen for yourself. You could go to the plant shop and you could buy a couple of plants that look pretty, and you could hang them there.

[00:18:38] And I did it. And it's the weirdest thing you guys, but it is such a good parallel to different areas in our lives that we're holding ourselves back. Okay? Another story to reiterate the same point. I have a friend and she went to this boutique and she loves this boutique and she told me she's like, if I could dress any way that I want, this is the style that I would have.

[00:18:58] And, and I didn't really think a whole lot in the moment. And then I hung up with her on the phone. We were on the phone. And I was thinking to myself, why are you not going to the boutique and buying the clothes that you want to wear because you want that style? You know? There weren't any other limitations.

[00:19:13] It's not like she didn't have the budget for it, right? I could see if you didn't have a budget for it right now, but like maybe when you had more money. She was fine. She was buying other clothes that were just as expensive. So it was astounding to me when she said to me, If I could have any style, I would choose that style.

[00:19:29] And I'm like, I got off the phone and I'm like, wait, what? So I called her back and I'm like, you can choose whatever style that you want to have, you know this. Surprise. And if you forgot a little bit and you were like, oh, I'm actually not that girl, let me tell you that you can be that girl and you can create your own life.

[00:19:44] And I thought these were just fascinating stories, but I'm sure you can relate to in some ways. Were you thinking to yourself, I wish I was that girl? I wish I could do things like that? I wish I had this decor in my house like that. I wish I could dress like

[00:20:00] that. I wish I could see things like this person does. And I just want to tell you, in case you forgot, that you can. You can be that girl. You can do and create anything that you want to. And I also want you to know that it might feel uncomfortable a little bit at first. If you have gotten so used to doing a certain thing a certain way, then you have expectations of yourself to be and act a certain way,

[00:20:25] and so do your family members and your friends and all of that. And so you might get a little bit of pushback. I mean, it might even be little things. You want to wear the big hoop earrings. I had actually had a friend the other day that said, she's like your fancy wear hoop earrings I'm like, you would look just as good in these hoop earrings, the only reason why I'm wearing them and looking good in them is because I, I said, I want to be the girl with hoop earrings

[00:20:44] cause I think it looks cool, and I like them. And so I also want to let you know that it's okay if other people don't agree with you. They might say, you know, you make these little changes and they say, oh, well, you don't do that. And I want you to know that you're the only person that's holding you back.

[00:20:59] You get to decide. And you are in control. And I want you to say that it's, we're building things up in our minds and things I think a lot of the times into making them these dangerous situations. Well, I don't, I don't, I mean, I'm not that girl and I

[00:21:15] don't want all my friends to think that I just think I'm, I can do anything. I'm like, why not? You know, why not? And if someone responds back to you, they may, and they may not. But if they respond back to you say, oh, you're not the girl that does that. You're like, oh, well, I am now. I'm the girl that has plants in her room now. I'm the girl that dresses like that now. And I want you to know that you and your thoughts are genuinely and truly the only thing that's holding you back. And this might be kind of hard for you to hear because a lot of times it's easier to say, oh, well, I'm not like that because of this exterior circumstance.

[00:21:48] And I'm not like this, that because of this exterior circumstance. And I want you to know that you can genuinely create whatever you want and you are the only person that's holding you back, okay? It's hard to hear. I know. And I'm telling you this because I've been in that situation. And honestly, I'm sure I'm in this same situation in a lot of areas of my life still.

[00:22:07] I'm sure I'm holding my self back in a lot of areas of my life that I'm not even seeing. And that's why as your coach, I really want you to see things in a way that no longer limits you, but genuinely gives you wings to fly because you are capable of anything that you want, regardless of all the excuses that you've made up for yourself.

[00:22:30] Regardless of who people expect you to be and who you've become. And I just want you to know that it's an option for you. And you can genuinely change right now in this moment and it doesn't have to be hard. You can make it hard. You can make up excuses and you can make up reasons why it's hard.

[00:22:47] But I want you to know that also doesn't have to be. I also want you to ask yourself how you feel. And in certain situations that may be an indicator of thoughts that are either benefiting you or hindering you. If you want to make a change and you feel like crap, one, being uncomfortable is very, very common when we're doing things that are outside of our comfort zone and that are pushing ourselves past

[00:23:14] certain limits, we've set for ourselves. Okay? So one, I want you to know it's common and honestly, a lot of the time necessary to feel very uncomfortable when you're making changes that are, that are pushing you to grow. Okay. I also want you to know that once you get past that discomfort, that you could feel however you want to feel about it.

[00:23:33] So if you're feeling like crap about a certain change, ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? And I want you to identify a singular thought that you're having. How you are feeling is always 100% of the time determined on the thought that you were having about that circumstance. So say you want to change something in your life and you're having a thought, well, other people can do that, but not me.

[00:23:58] Well, yeah, that feels like crap and it's untrue. Right? So make it true. Make a thought that's true for you also help you to feel amazing. So it could be something like I can make the change that I want to make. And if that doesn't feel genuine to you choose something that does, right? Even a bridge thought is what we call it in coaching where something that somewhere that you want to be doesn't feel true,

[00:24:27] so let's, let's do a bridge thought so it's believable to us and helps us to get where we want to be. So I believe that eventually I can believe that I'm the person that can do X. I believe that I can get to the point where I am the person that has plants hanging in her room. And I'm like alright, I feel comfortable with that.

[00:24:46] I feel hopeful with that. So I want you to know that there is a way you can feel how you want to feel, and when you're not feeling good about a certain circumstance or you're not feeling in a way that helps you to move forward with confidence, with certainty,

[00:25:00] with hope, that I want you to ask yourself that one question, why? Why am I feeling this way? And be very curious, and the answer might not come right away. You might have to ponder this for days, or it might come right away. Oh, I know exactly what I'm feeling like that. It is because I have this limiting self thought that I can't be that girl. And so that's my takeaway for you in this podcast episode is I really want you to be curious when you feel like garbage.

[00:25:22] And, you know, it's something that you actually want to do in your life to proceed, ask yourself why and tweak that thought to allow yourself to feel in a way that will help you to progress forward and take actions in your life that will get you results that you want eventually. Okay? Something that I do, I don't always believe that you have to

[00:25:44] do physical things to make you feel a certain way. It's the opposite, right? A thought will lead to how you feel, which will then determine the actions that you're taking in your life. But there are certain things that I do to help me to get in that mindset. And, and again, it does start with a thought, right?

[00:25:57] For me, it's getting dressed up. I have literally not left the house the entire day besides working out. And I did not look my best self in that situation, but I never do. It's fine. I'm working out. I'm sweating my guts out. No one wants to put makeup on and sweat their guts out and just, it's like a waterfall across my forehead.

[00:26:14] And so anyway, I get home and I know I'm going to be kind of like by myself all day. I'm going to be doing some laundry. I'm going to be catching up on some work stuff. And I know, and I honestly feel like crap. Okay? I'm just going to give you a little, like a little preview of what Utah's like right now. I hate

[00:26:31] Utah in January. I honestly really try to like it. And I, it's just not something I really wanna put my effort towards. I just don't like it. It's so we live in a valley it's called Utah valley and then salt lake valley is the valley north of us. And because of the mountains and how we're surrounded, when we don't have like a strong wind or we don't have a snow storm, the smog in the winter gets

[00:26:52] trapped in the valley and it is my actual living nightmare. Like, I, it sounds dramatic, but I get very seasonally depressed and I just, I'm not happy about it. So I, I just kinda hate it. But something that I know helps is that the thought which is, well, I can do what I, I can control what I can control. Okay. I can't control the weather.

[00:27:13] I'll let you guys know if I figure that out. Um, standby on that one, but I can control how I look. Okay. And I don't know, like the psychology behind it, but when I get dressed, when I get dressed in a cute outfit, when I put on my makeup and when I do my hair, I

[00:27:30] feel like more empowered. And I, I can do that. And so that allows me to then approach the rest of my day with more empowerment.

[00:27:38] So something that might also be helpful is when you're feeling down where you're feeling disempowered, find that one thing. I don't know why I feel so much better when I get dressed, do my hair and makeup, but it allows me to be like, all right, well, I can, I can control this. What else can I control? And it's like, my brain looks for things that I, other things that I can control about my day,

[00:27:56] when otherwise I tend to focus on things that I cannot control. And so for me, that's a big trigger and it's a positive trigger, right? I think trigger typically is like a negative word, but for me, that's a positive trigger when I'm like, I literally feel like crap. I, all I do want to do is climb in back into bed and watch Netflix and eat popcorn all day and just like loathe

[00:28:15] everything and thinking about all the things that suck. I know that 95% of the time, if I can take a shower, do my makeup, do my hair, put on a cute outfit. Then that gets the momentum going for me. And it allows me to switch my brain and say, all right, well, I can control that. What else can I control? And then I'm opened up with those possible.

[00:28:34] So I wanted to offer that for you and my friends, if you are interested, I created a really incredible free class for you. Valentine's day is coming up. I'm

[00:28:45] wearing a bright pink shirt today. I got bright pink nails because I just one Utah socks right now, so I need something bright and not dreary. And two.

[00:28:52] But the month of love is coming up and some of you might hate it and some of you might love it, but either way it's coming up and you can just get yourself those delicious heart gummies, okay? If nothing else by yourself the bag of heart gummies. Okay? Or just send them my way if you don't like them. I might, I just like kid candy

[00:29:06] so there's that fun fact for you. For me uh, the fun fact about me for the day. So anyway, I created a really incredible class for you that's free. I would love for you to join it. And it's all about maintaining a strong relationship or growing a strong relationship during infertility. If you have been feeling like infertility has put a strain on your relationship,

[00:29:32] join the club. It is a very common thing to have so many heightened emotions. You're invested so heavily in growing your family, that you are, uh, having a hard enough time controlling yourself. And the way that you're feeling and managing all the emotions that it can really take its toll on your relationship with your spouse, because oftentimes you feel very depleted, you feel empty and it's really hard to give to your spouse

[00:30:00] or the person you're in the relationship with if you feel empty. So I created a free class for you. It is on January 24th at 8:00 PM mountain time. I will link it here in the show notes. If you go to fearless infertility.com forward slash webinar, you can also sign up if you can't make it live, no worries. I will send you the recording afterward. And it's a really beautiful way for you to see your relationship, tangible tools for you to strengthen your relationship during infertility.

[00:30:26] And I cannot wait to see you there. I will see you guys here next week. Don't forget to rate and review the podcast and we'll choose a new winner of the PJs and socks next week. And I love you guys. I'm so proud of you for continuing to show up for yourself and I will see you soon. Bye. I know how tough it is to struggle through infertility.

[00:30:45] If you're ready to get ahead of the pain and frustration, the best way is to create an ironclad mindset. That's where it all starts. I have the best free download for you. You're going to love it. It's my free morning mindset magic checklist. You'll get the seven tips I use to create my mindset each morning so I can create a life I love, despite my challenges. You will lower your anxiety and increase your peace.

[00:31:09] I spent a couple of years of trial and error and finally came upon this list of actions I take or never

[00:31:15] take every morning, even when I don't want to, because they work every single time. Download for free at fearlessinfertility.com forward slash mindset magic. Thanks for listening to fearless infertility.

[00:31:29] If you want the best infertility support and community on the planet, visit fearless infertility.com. See you there.

 

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